Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Nina Joy Olson Holman, how I miss you!

 11 October 2018 (Note:  I had to reupload this file, so it is out of order, but I'm grateful to revisit my memories of my small and wonderful friend. she had no idea how she influenced me at the time).

Sister Holman was a tiny stick of dynamite in the Rexburg LDS Temple. She was petite and her smile was perfect. I had to give her a hug each time I saw her.  She had the fire of real testimony.   

Oddly enough, the other night she came into my dream.  I wonder why, but then, she truly loved people. Perhaps it was just because she was connecting to those that had come to Rexburg's Temple and had always wondered how she could help them.  I was blessed enough to be among those she touched.  I felt a deep connection to her the first time I saw her - she had such a vibrant light about her.  What's not to love?  I didn't even know at the time that I had served with her daughter, Susan, in our local ward (church house) when my young family lived in Rexburg.  It was a blessing that Susan is just like her mother. Lot's of smiles and love for people.

A little over a month ago, Sister Holman stepped beyond the veil, graduating from this life with honors to return home to rejoice that she had completed her mission on Earth. 

Here is her obituary:

Our loving mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, and friend Nina Joy Olson Holman passed away peacefully at her home in Rexburg, Idaho on September 8, 2018, returning to her Heavenly Father. Her family was given the tender mercy of being able to bid a loving farewell to this remarkable woman of faith. When asked what she wanted to be remembered for she responded, “love and my testimony.”  

She met the love of her life, Garth Rider Holman, in 1946 at a dance, while attending Ricks College. They were married in the Idaho Falls Idaho Temple on November 24, 1948. She trained professionally in vocal music prior to her marriage and gave up fame and fortune to have a family, but she shared her love of music with her children.  

She left a rich legacy of love, service, compassion, and faith for her posterity and friends to emulate. Her greatest joy was found in her family, serving others, sharing her joy of life, and her love of the Savior and the gospel that radiated from her countenance.  

She taught elementary school for over 35 years and received the Distinguished Teaching Award from the Rigby School District in 1989. She was a devoted member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She served two missions in Nauvoo: one with her husband; after his death, the second with another senior missionary sister. She served in both the Idaho Falls Idaho and Rexburg Idaho temples for years until a few months before her death.  

She was preceded in death by her beloved eternal companion, Garth, two grandchildren Nicole Strickland and Ashley Cazier, and great-granddaughter Alexandra Hilton. The family takes great solace in knowing that she has returned to her husband’s loving arms. Also preceding her death were five sisters and two brothers. She is survived by her children Gerald Garth Holman (Lynelle) of Draper, Utah; Karen Joy Strickland (Michael) of Richland, Washington; Susan Kay Hammond (Rocky) of Rexburg, Idaho; Julie Cazier (David) of West Valley City, Utah; Diane Elmer (Dan) of El Cajon, California; J. Scott Holman (Hilda) of Gilbert, Arizona; and Colette Winward (Kirk) of Salt Lake City, Utah; along with 68 grandchildren, 78 great-grandchildren, and her younger sisters Betty Rae Olson Stucki (Delos) and Sharyn June Olson Johnson (Kim).The family wishes to express their sincere gratitude to the many dedicated health professionals who treated her with great compassion, skill, and dignity and to the many friends who gave their loving support. 

Viewings will be held from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. on Sunday, September 16, 2018, at the Flamm Funeral Home, 61 N 100 E, Rexburg, Idaho and prior to her funeral from 11:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Monday, September 17, 2018, at the Rexburg Center Stake Center, 590 Summerwood Drive, Rexburg, Idaho. Her funeral will follow at 1:00 p.m.

***

Life is full of miracles, great and small.  Our life touches others for good.  Focusing on Christ is (or should be) the goal of every mortal.  It is only through him that we can be who we are meant to be and return to him - with honor.



Monday, June 8, 2015

Will Your Child be Rich or Poor? 15 Poverty Habits Parents Teach Their Children BY THOMAS C. CORLEY

Will Your Child be Rich or Poor? 15 Poverty Habits Parents Teach Their Children


When I travel the country speaking to high school and college students about exactly what they need to do to become financially successful in life I always begin my presentation by asking three questions:
“How many want to be financially successful in life?”
“How many think they will be financially successful in life?”
Almost every time I ask the first two questions every hand rises in the air. Then I ask the magic third question:
“How many have taken a course in school on how to be financially successful in life?”
Not one hand rises in the air, ever. Clearly every student wants to be successful and thinks they will be successful but none have been taught by their parents or their school system how to be financially successful in life. Not only are there no courses on basic financial success principles but there are no structured courses teaching basic financial literacy. We are raising our children to be financially illiterate and to fail in life. Is it any wonder that most Americans live paycheck to paycheck? That most Americans accumulate more debt than assets?  That many Americans lose their homes when they lose their job? Is it any wonder that most Americans cannot afford college for their children and that student loan debt is now the largest type of consumer debt? 
What’s worse is what our children are being taught by their parents, the school system, politicians and the media. They are teaching our children that the wealthy are corrupt, greedy, have too much wealth and that this wealth needs to be redistributed. What kind of a message do you think that sends to America’s future generation? It is teaching them that seeking financial success by pursuing the American Dreams is a bad thing. The Occupy Wall Street movement was a manifestation of this “wealth is bad and needs to be redistributed “mindset. .
Here are some statistics from my five-year study on the daily habits that separate the wealthy from the poor?
  1. 72% of the wealthy know their credit score vs. 5% of the poor
  2. 6% of the wealthy play the lottery vs. 77% of the poor
  3. 80% of the wealthy are focused on at least one goal vs. 12% of the poor
  4. 62% of the wealthy floss their teeth every day vs. 16% of the poor
  5. 21% of the wealthy are overweight by 30 pounds or more vs. 66% of the poor
  6. 63% of the wealthy spend less than 1 hour per day on recreational Internet use vs. 26% of the poor
  7. 83% of the wealthy attend/attended back to school night for their kids vs. 13% of the poor
  8. 29% of the wealthy had one or more children who made the honor roll vs. 4% of the poor
  9. 63% of wealthy listen to audio books during their commute vs. 5% of the poor
  10. 67% of the wealthy watch 1 hour or less of T.V. per day vs 23% of the poor
  11. 9% of the wealthy watch reality T.V. shows vs. 78% of the poor
  12. 73% of the wealthy were taught the 80/20 rule vs. 5% of the poor (live off 80% save 20%)
  13. 79% of the wealthy network 5 hours or more per month vs. 16% of the poor
  14. 8% of the wealthy believe wealth comes from random good luck vs. 79% of the poor
  15. 79% of the wealthy believe they are responsible for their financial condition vs. 18% of the poor
The fact is the poor are poor because they have too many Poverty Habits and too few Rich Habits. Poor parents teach their children the Poverty Habits and wealthy parents teach their children the Rich Habits. We don’t have a wealth gap in this country we have a parent gap. We don’t have income inequality, we have parent inequality.
Parents and our schools need to work together to instill good daily success habits as follows:
  • Limit T.V., social media and cell phone use to no more than one hour a day.
  • Require that children to read one to two educational books a month.
  • Require children to aerobically exercise 20 – 30 minutes a day.
  • Limit junk food to no more than 300 calories a day.
  • Require that children set monthly, annual and 5-year goals.
  • Require working age children to work or volunteer at least ten hours a week.
  • Require that children save at least 25% of their earnings or gifts they receive.
  • Teach children the importance of relationship building by requiring them to call friends, family, teachers, coaches etc. on their birthdays and to send thank you cards for gifts or help they received from anyone.
  • Reassure children that mistakes are good not bad. Children need to understand that the very foundation of success in life is built on learning from our mistakes.
  • Punish children when they lose their tempers so they understand the importance of controlling this very costly emotion.
  • Teach children that seeking financial success in life is good and is a worthwhile goal. Children need to learn what the American Dream is and that it is something to be pursued in life.
  • Children need to learn how to manage money. Open up a checking account or savings account for children and force them to use their savings to buy the things they want. They need to learn that they are not entitled to things like cell phones, computers, fashionable clothes, flat screen T.V.s etc.
  • Require children to participate in at least two non-sports-related extracurricular activities at school or outside of school.
  • Parents and children need to set aside at least an hour a day to talk to one another. Not on Facebook, or on the cell phone, but face to face. The only quality time is quantity time
  • Teach children how to manage their time. They should be required to create daily “to do” lists and these lists need to be monitored by parents. The goal should be to accomplish at least 70% of their tasks on their daily “to do” list.
Wealthy people do certain things every single day that sets them apart from everyone else in life. Wealthy people have good daily success habits that they learned from their parents. These daily habits are the real reason for the wealth gap in our country and the real reason why the rich get richer. Unless we teach our children good daily success habits, and level the playing field, the rich will continue to get richer and the poor will continue to get poorer.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Part 20: Grand Patriarch

My  husband is an orphan.  Sad day for the entire family when the Grand Patriarch of the family graduated from life to paradise.

We miss him, but we are grateful we know that we will see him again.
We know he is reunited with his sweetheart and they will never again be parted.  Still, it is hard.
Funeral Program
Unless you met him, you would have no idea how significant his earthly life was so I'm posting the Life Sketch that will be given by my husband and his sister. 

I wasn't the one that was supposed to write it.  We were going to use his personal history, but when I read it over, it just didn't cover enough.  I tried to capture the essence of his heart - how good, kind, and noble in so many ways.  I admit that I failed to condense a life that spanned 96 years into five minutes.  I barely managed to hold it to 20 minutes and there was so much more that could have been written!  Perhaps that is simply an occupational hazard.  As an author, I feel it takes 300+ pages to truly cover a tale (especially 96 years worth).   If you read this, you may get a glimpse of the man, but mere words will never do him justice.  This small offering merely skimmed the cream off the top. 

If you would prefer to watch the video biography that will play at his viewing and funeral go here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m66PFAzfclE&context=C3d47eb5ADOEgsToPDskKKtf7f0BYqtWNSW20ubaZ0 

Life Sketch:  Norman Blackburn Erickson

We are here to celebrate the life of an honorable son of God, Norman Blackburn Erickson.

To understand his life-span think about this, in 1915, Woodrow Wilson was President, World War 1 was still going on, the Model T and silent movies were the rage, gas was 25 cents a gallon and stamps 2 cents each.

Here in Archer, on Dec 15, 1915, dad was born at home ten minutes to 4a.m., a Wednesday. In the 1970’s dad recorded this fact followed by, “I’ve had a hard time to catch up on sleep ever since.”

Dad was the sixth of eleven children born to Herman and Gladys and the sixth boy. His father had to get permission from the King of Sweden to leave the country and spoke little English, but his testimony was strong enough to propel him to America. His example of service and work was planted in the minds and hearts of his children.

When dad was two years old, the family moved from the old homestead into the house across the street we all know as Olive’s place. Dad wrote in his history, “When three years old, I remember sitting on my dad’s knee and getting a penny every time I sang, ‘Dip the Oars’. I didn’t get many pennies because I didn’t sing much.” In the future, that would change.

The barn was built in 1913 and Swedish in style. The house was small, so when the boys were old enough, they would stay out in the barn. With five brothers ahead of him, he had plenty of opportunity to pick up on the finer points of being a boy. In the summer, they would sleep about anywhere.  Dad recalled his mother saying, “If I could find your beds, I’d change the sheets!” In the winter, the boys would even sleep in the manure spreader because it had enough room for two and, thankfully, it was dry.

Life on a farm is a four letter word - WORK. One of his first chores was to feed the calves. At the ripe age of six, he graduated to milking the cows. By the time he was eight or nine, he went to live in the barn with his brothers and in addition to regular chores, during harvest, they’d pack water to the grain-threshing crew.

They played hard and had to use their imaginations. He’d cut out pictures of horses when too young to work out in the barn with the rest of his brothers, using extra paper on the sides to make them stand up straight. He cut out cars as well and learned the names of every car that existed in the day and age. This later helped him when he grew up and sold insurance.

One of their favorite things to do was play “train”. They’d put one knee on a chair, use the opposite foot to push forward, and while holding onto the chair, scoot around the house. They had no carpet and they played so hard they not only wore the chair legs down to the 1st rung, but the floor as well – a fact that Aunt Geraldine demonstrated one day when she came to visit and her foot went through the floor up to her knee. He and his siblings made bows and arrows, played with frog bones from horse’s legs, and built barns, roads and corrals out of twigs on the top of ditch banks.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ was the core of his life. When dad was 8, he was baptized in a canal by his cousin Orrin. Afterward, dad stayed and played in the water while his brother Henry, who came to witness the baptism, watched over him. Ten years later, dad would baptize his sister Phyllis in a canal.

Dad honored his priesthood. He recorded the following about gathering Fast Offerings

“The year of the South Fork flood, in the spring of 1927, I became a Deacon. I remember seeing campfires on the Menan Buttes because the people in that area had to head for higher ground. Gathering fast offerings was more time consuming than now. There were cars, but not for gathering fast offerings. I rode a horse bareback, to 10 or 12 homes and it took half a day to make the visits. No receipts, you’d just put the money in your pockets and remember who gave what. A quarter would be about the largest amount received. Routes would be, Grovers, Suttons, Wilcox, Weekes, Cheney’s, Burns, and Briggs. The big job was getting back up on the horse. If you had a saddle, good, but most of the time you didn’t so you’d climb on a fence, a ditch bank or stump, or, if your horse was eating grass, you’d throw one leg over his neck and he’d raise his head and you’d slide back and be off again.”

When asked how he stayed out of trouble during his teenage years, his reply was simple, “I was too dad-gummed busy.” It wasn't just the farm chores. Even before his mission, dad held many positions in the church, serving in leadership capacities in the Priesthood quorums such as second counselor in the Deacon’s Quorum, Pres. of Teacher’s Quorum, served in the Priests Quorum, and became the librarian in the Sunday School.

Farm wagons in that era weighed about a ton. One of Dad’s older brothers fell under the wheel of one and complained that it really hurt when it rolled over him. Another brother didn't believe him – so he laid down on the ground and let it roll over him. The decision was unanimous - it hurt.

Another time one of the brothers got his finger cut by the milk separator (machine that separated milk from cream) and then another brother, emphatically stating that the machine couldn't do such a thing, repeated the action with the same result. The icing on the cake, though, was when their father came out and didn't believe them and so, it was proven for the third time (and it was unanimous) – the machine was capable of cutting them and it hurt.

Dad received his patriarchal blessing in 1936 and wrote, “Every Latter-Day Saint ought to have a blessing as it is a guide to eternal life and a safeguard from evil if one will but live for it faithfully. I can testify to the truthfulness of Patriarchal Blessings through seeing my own coming true in faith-promoting ways.”

His deep-seated faith was stretched when he accepted a call to serve as a missionary in the Western States mission from 1936-1938.

In his personal history, dad recorded, “I can’t forget how bashful I used to be. If there was ever a curse that is bad it is that of bashfulness. The way I used to crawl under the table or when company came still haunts me. After 2 years on a mission, I felt a little more confident, but the first month or two were terrible.”

The day he left for his mission, he did chores, which included putting milk cans in the back of the wagon and taking them to the Cheese Factory. On the way, the milk tipped out and he had to gather the 10-gallon cans of which most were still full, deliver them, get home, clean up, and catch the Lorenzo train that was headed for Salt Lake. After being in the mission home in Denver, at a run, Dad boarded the train headed for Albuquerque, NM. He handed out 30 Books of Mormon and then he started tracting.

Dad recorded the following, “We hitchhiked more than took the train. People were more willing to pick up one man and give him a ride. We just couldn't get a ride when we were together.” This common circumstance led to something uncommon, inexplicable, and faith promoting.

Dad caught a ride with a guy in an attempt to get from Casper, Wyoming to Riverton for a district meeting (this would be 117 walking miles on current roads). When they were about half way there, the driver said, “This is where I turn off.” It was already dark and dad knew there was no way he was going to make it to Riverton that night, so he went a short distance from the road and went to sleep under a sagebrush using his briefcase as a pillow. When he woke up he was astonished to find himself feeling fresh as a daisy and walking up to the building in Riverton where the meeting was to be held, not knowing how he got there and unable to explain it. He never told them what happened because he felt they’d never believe it.

While on his mission, he went to the dedication of the Winter Quarters monument on September 20, 1936. Church members and members of others faiths gathered to participate. The First Presidency: Heber J. Grant; J. Reuben Clark; and David O. McKay, along with several other General Authorities, were present. President Grant said "there are times and places in the life of every individual, every people, and every nation when great spiritual heights are reached, when courage becomes a living thing . . . when faith in God stands as the granite mountain wall, firm and immovable. . . Winter Quarters was such a time and place for the Mormon people." Dad met President Grant, carrying the memory of the man and his words with him.

In June of 1938, His parents received the kind of letter every parent would cherish from a member in North Platte, Nebraska, it reads:

Dear Mr &Mrs Erickson,

Thank you for having sent your son in the mission field. He was a very fine missionary who found favor among all of us. He was a great influence for good. He won’t be forgotten very quickly with the smile on his lips and the twinkle in his eyes.

He was an idol among the youngsters because of gymnastics, fun, and attention. Lots of youngsters would keep watch at Plumbs waiting for him to come out. They enjoyed everything he’d do for them from standing on his head to just talking. They will not forget him and he is a Mormon missionary to them. In meetings he often directed his talk to the youngsters; made them feel very important and glad they hadn’t stayed home.

He won admiration among the grownups because of his desires, clean living, industry, and ability to teach the Gospel. He was at his best and a very fine specimen of manhood representing the church. Surely his influence is felt more than we’ll even know.

It may have been a sacrifice for you to have sent him, but if you could understand how he and his fellow missionaries helped our branch – created more interest among the members, organized a genealogy society, broke down contentions, he made us desirous of doing much better – then your gain was much greater than your loss. You must be very fine people to have so fine a son. His mission was a splendid one and his honor among the people is great.

He was righteous before God, an honor to you, a fine citizen. What more could you ask? Sincerely, Mr &Mrs Estel C Lile.

One of the first things he did when he returned home from his mission was to head out to the fence by the barn and whistle for his favorite horse, Sky. Some people didn't think Sky would remember him. However, when Sky heard the whistle, he was in the middle of a 3-horse team and bolted, forcing the other horses and the driver to come with him to meet dad.

After his mission, he also graduated from High School and Seminary. His mission had helped him to shed some of his bashfulness and it helped him to get a lead in an operetta. He loved music and was involved with choirs, glee clubs, and a male quartet. In the fall of 1939 at Ricks College, he studied singing, drama, tumbling, and agriculture.

During this time he records that he was given many church callings. Five of them he was given right after his mission:

1) Sunday School teacher
2) Supervisor of Teacher’s Quorum
3) Supervisor of the M Men
4) President of Junior class of Genealogists
5) Stake Missionary
Added to these were

6) Chorister in Sunday School
7) Dance Director
8) Choir member
9) Chorister in MIA
10) Ward teacher
11) Coach

If you counted eleven, you’re right. It was whittled down to nine by the time he was courting Bessie.
In his history, he humbly records that, “It seems I made a serious mistake in letting my positions in the ward interfere with my education so I let some classes go so I could keep my positions in the ward - without realizing someone else could do them as well and possibly better.” Dad juggled these nine callings for years until one day someone called him at work and asked him to serve in yet another position and, for the first time in his life, refused a call – he had enough, thank-you.

In 1939, he was sitting in one of the choir seats when Bessie Small, from Bangor, Maine entered the chapel. The spirit told him, “Norman, that’s your wife.” He elbowed the man next to him and said, “That’s my wife.” The man next to him was skeptical to say the least. Later, when asked if he ever doubted the vastly popular Bessie would be his, he firmly shook his head. After all, the spirit had witnessed to him she would.

With a big smile, he often told family, “I watched her date everyone in the valley. I figured it was better she got it out of her system before we were married.”

They were sealed for time and eternity on the 11 March 1941.

Eventually, they gained four sons and two daughters, all of whom were raised in the basement house they’d built in the early 1940’s. The top floor wasn't added until 1976. Their children were raised with faith and all served honorable missions. They had three missionaries out at the same time.
Sacrifice was a way of life. They sold cows off to help pay for those missions. In dad’s words, “What would we do without cows?”

Dad knew how to work hard. First and foremost, he was a farmer at heart and loved the land. However, to supplement that income so he could support their growing family, he often had more jobs.

He recorded, “I helped organize and make Farm Bureau a reality in Madison County, sold insurance, and handled claims from 1947-48. He worked at INEL 1956-60 and then for 20 years he enjoyed associating with everyone he worked with at Ricks College. He started with maintenance then was asked to work Security because he was so good with the students; his relationship with them continued as he moved to Custodial.

All of his jobs were in addition to the farm where he spent time teaching their children work ethic, civic responsibility, and leading by example.

Dad had a sense of humor. One of his favorite things to do (on occasion) was scare the daylights out of his coworkers on the custodial crew at Ricks. One time, a fellow custodian, who knew how much dad liked to scare them, nervously called into each room, “Norman, are you there?” Listening to this, a plan formed in his mind and he waited for just the right moment. After several doors, the coworker figured dad wasn't in the building. He reached in to turn on the lights and dad grabbed his hand. You can imagine his reaction.

Dad knew how to serve and administered many kindnesses to others over his lifetime. One night, a dance was being held at the college and he noticed a young woman sitting off to the side and seeing the longing in her countenance, he gallantly offered to dance with her. Embarrassed, she told him, “I can’t dance!” He insisted. Then she showed him that she had no kneecap and repeated that she couldn't. He pulled her up and patiently taught her that she could – and did! She was thrilled!

When dad and mom retired from Ricks College in 1981, they were called to serve a mission to Johannesburg, South Africa. While they were gone, there was a fire and the house they had struggled to build, had severe damage. At the time, it didn't seem like it, but the fire was a blessing and when the folks returned home it was to a beautiful house that was completely finished.

Shortly after they returned from Africa, they were called to serve in the Idaho Falls Temple. For 20 years they would get up at 2 a.m. every Thursday to prepare to serve in the Lord’s house and they absolutely loved it.

Dad farmed into his early 90’s and remained part of the decision-making process til the day he graduated from this life. Family was always welcome to stay at the house.  The feeling in the house was like that in the temple. They opened their doors, their cupboards and their hearts.

He was not a proud man, but he took pride in family. He understood that family is eternal. He came from a family of 11 children, had 6 of his own, is the grandfather of 31, and the great grandfather of 67 with more on the way.

It must be said, that of all dad accomplished over his 96 year span, nothing gave him more pleasure than what is written on the back of the program: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”

Monday, September 14, 2009

Part 11: Laurel Maud Small Hacking


Janet and Laurel
Laurel Maud Small was born at the Small family farm on the 24 Apr 1915. She was the second child of Howard and Janet (Giberson) Small and the oldest girl.


She spent her earliest years at the Small family farm in Bucksport with her grandparents, parents, oldest sibling, Joy, and Bessie.
Laurel Maud Small

Janet, Laurel in her arms, Joy
When the flu pandemic robbed them of their parents, she was still old enough to have a few memories of their mother which she was kind enough to share with Bessie who wrote the following about Laurel's brief memory of their mother: "Laurel told me she used to go up on the roof on Division Street and help mama hang clothes on the clothes line and mama said to her ' Laurel, you're going to have to be my little helper when this new baby comes. She also said she used to call Papa, 'My papa'

This one memory becomes important because it helped confirm that Howard and Janet had moved from the family farm in Bucksport to Bangor before Valeda was born. It was an eternal choice with eternal consequences. If you look on a map of the pandemic, one of the hardest hit areas was the one they moved to.

It makes me wonder - would they have lived if they had stayed on the farm in the smaller, rural Bucksport? It's a moot point, but to emphasis how wise their Grammie was, Bessie wrote: "Grammie told we children the Lord has blessed you. Don't ever think sad (about their parents deaths)."


Because Laurel had been told by her mother that she would be expected to help with the new baby, I believe with the loss of her mother, those words sank into her bright mind. She must have also looked forward to it or she would not have remembered these words at such a tender age.

Bessie wrote: "She and I used to have to take turns rocking our baby sister Valeda to sleep. It was a big walnut cradle and it rocked on rockers."

Laurel helped Bessie with prayer. "When we were saying our prayers at night, Grammie would listen (Now I lay me down to sleep...) After awhile this no longer satisfied Bessie who told her Grammie, "I want to say the grown up prayer Laurel does." So, she taught me."

May 1919 - visiting their parents graves
The children were taught to pay their respects not just to the living, but the dead. Their grandparents made the extra effort to teach the children about their parents and part of this education was a trip to the graveyard to honor the dead.


The orphans grew and matured and things began to change.
Laurel and Bessie

"Laurel and I almost looked like twins. (I can testify to this after seeing so many photos of them) Grammie dressed us alike (when they were very young) If I was walking on one side of the street and a girlfriend of hers called, 'Laurel' I would say 'Hello'. The same thing happened to her.

Laurel Maud Small
Laurel didn't feel this was always a slice of heaven. She wanted to be known as herself.

Eventually, Laurel told Grammie 'I want to dress different and not be a twin.' I felt bad, but I got over it."

Their Aunt Georgia was kind and generous enough to offer the children their choice of lessons. Valeda chose art lessons, but the others (Joy, Laurel and Bessie) had piano lessons. This was a good thing, for they often had company on Sunday for church meetings and those with talent were desperately needed.

"When we held cottage meetings in our home, Laurel would play on our big upright piano for opening and closing exercises. Then we had a cookie or something and drink of water. The missionary would stand around the piano and Laurel would play while we all sang. She played anything the Elders and Lady Missionaries wanted. If she hadn't heard it before, they sang it for her and she picked it right up."


Laurel Maud Small
The Small's were known to be good honest workers and Laurel was no exception.

"Laurel at one time was working mornings at Grants 5 and 10 cent store and J.J. Newberrys in the afternoon. When Newberrys wanted her full time, she became the head of the stock room and was over all the help upstairs. She could beat all of them pin-ticketing the socks and clothing of all kinds. She was the window dresser. She would put models in the windows and dress them and add pretty things. There were five windows"

Laurel also set a good example for Bessie who told me:
"Laurel spent a lot of time at the library and she loved reading Romances! One time she said, "I'm taking this book back."
Bessie asked, "Can't I read it first?"
Laurel firmly said, "No! It's a bad book."
"Then why did you get it?"
"I didn't know it was bad."


Perhaps reading romances prepared her for what would come in an unexpected way.


Kenneth Hacking
Kenneth Hacking was called on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons). He would labor in the Eastern States and Maine was part of it.
Once on his mission he was stopped by the police for questioning because they thought he was Pretty Boy Floyd (part of the Brady Gang) who had been in the area using machine guns and threats.

The Small family was well known to the missionaries as they were often invited to preach in their home and stay for meals. Kenneth was not the only young man to be attracted to the Small girls. There are many pictures of the girls with the Elders who came to their home. However, in Kenneth's case, his attraction was problematic. Missionaries are not in the field to harvest wives, but the souls of those who want to know the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If a missionary today expresses the kind of intense interest in one of the flock, the Elder will be immediately transferred.

Kenneth wasn't. They conducted a discreet romance that ended with a proposal - "How would you feel about me being your Lord and Master?" Laurel's response: "Okay, I guess."
He patted her on the head and that was that!

Kenneth and Laurel
Wedding day
Laurel went to Idaho with him and a couple who were going out west to see their son. She worked at JC Penny's until they were married in the Salt Lake Temple 1 Sep 1938.

They settled in Sunnydell, Idaho and eventually had 8 children. Their family and Bessie's spent time together and the sisters remained close throughout their lives. Laurel returned home to her Father in Heaven and to Kenneth on 17 Mar 2005

Laurel and Kenneth headstone in Sutton Cemetery


Part 10: Valeda Irene Small Stetson


Valeda Small
Valeda Irene Stetson was born 27 Sep 1918. Twenty-three days later she was orphaned by the flu pandemic of 1918.




Siblings: Laurel, Valeda on Joy's lap, Bessie
Engagement announcement
in paper
Raised by her paternal grandparents, Valeda grew large of heart - if small of stature. While sisters Laurel and Bessie moved out west, Valeda remained behind in Maine, as did Joy, their brother.
Bob and Valeda





Valeda 1940





















Wedding Invitation

She married Robert Stetson on the 22 Feb 1941 in Bangor, Penobscott, Maine. They had four children. The first child, David, died shortly after birth.

Bessie had a doll she named David in honor of her nephew that had passed away.


Valeda Small by Beverly Erickson

Her eyes of brown would dance and shine,
To match her cute laugh and smile so fine.
A zest for life glowed in her face,
And flowed through her body just like a race.

Her knowledge of herbs she freely did share,
To help heal others through her thoughtful care.
She loved all her family out here in the West,
And would send them gifts that were the best.

She and Grammie when they were together,
Would talk about everything including the weather.
They had a gift to be able to converse,
Not missing a note in the whole universe.

Her body was all of four feet one or two,
Her movements were quick and not a few.
Her faith was strong and made her quite tall,
To fill out nobly the name of Small.


In May of 1998, Eric, Bessie's son, kept after her and told her she needed to go see Valeda who was living in a nursing home. Eric, Tonya, Norman B, and Bessie made the trip back to Maine to visit. When they saw Valeda, she knew Norman right away and then Bessie, Eric, and Tonya. They were able to visit her three times while there. Laurel and three of her daughters visited the following July. Valeda recognized Laurel as well and she was so happy. It was like Valeda had been waiting for these visits.

Valeda moved on to the eternities on 11 May 1999. Once Bessie learned that her baby sister had graduated from this life, she spoke to Mary Jane to see if any of the speakers would be talking about Valeda's childhood.

Mary said, "Nobody knows about her there, would you like to?"

Bessie agreed and visited with Laurel to get more information to share in her talk. The following are excerpts from various notes Bessie made for the funeral and I edited for clarity.

When Valeda was brought home, mama called Laurel in and said you will have to help me care for so tiny a baby. In fact, she was so very small that a woman's handkerchief would have been big enough to diaper her and she would have fit in a shoe box.


Valeda called Grammie 'mama' and Grampie 'Papa'. When she was little, Grampie used to tap her gently with the newspaper on the head and say "A fly's on your head, Valeda." One day, Grampie was laying on the living room rug with a fly swatter near by and was resting his eyes. Valeda was crawling around him. She picked up the fly swatter and gave him a hard whack "Fy on you ball head, Papa.


Harold Ham (next door neighbor) used to call Valeda "Car" and asked if "Car" could come out to play. One time, he bit Valeda and she came in crying and showed Grammie the welts. When he came over again to play, Grammie said, "Harold, if you bite her again, I will bite you back 'til the blood runs" He never did it again.

Viola Hawkins (cousin) emailed Bessie the following story:

One day when Aunt Etta and family (Viola was there) were visiting, Aunt Maud, (Grammie Small) always put a plate of cookies on the table with the rest of the luncheon. When Unc Will (Grampie) asked the blessing, he must have been watching Valeda out of the corner of his eye. he would say a hasty Amen (she was sitting in her high chair next to him) He would grab her hand back as she got the cookie and said, "Valeda, I'll..." he never said what he would do, but Valeda didn't worry, she would munch on the molasses cookie.

We used to have an Ice Cream cart go by every week or twice a week. Valeda saw it coming. Grammie was busy in the kitchen and Valeda got Grammie's purse and pulled everything out - green backs all over the floor (they were no good, just looked like paper) she was looking for and found a nickel! And away she went and got her ice cream. Then Grammie found the house tax money all over the floor.

Bessie said, "Grammie and Grampie taught us right from wrong. No lying, stealing, or swearing."

When Valeda was little she and a neighbor girl came into the yard, I asked Valeda, "Where did you get that orange? The neighbor said Valeda had stolen it and Valeda denied it and said the neighbor had given it to her. 

The neighbor then said, Oh, it's alright for her to have it."
I told Valeda, "You're going right in to Grammie!" 
Grammie called Mr. Corners at the store and he said, "Mrs. Small, I know who took it, it wasn't Valeda." 
Grammie took Valeda and they took the orange back.

Mr. Whitmore lived on our avenue and never spoke to children. Kenduskeag Avenue is long and steep. In the winter, it can get very icy. He and Valeda were going down the hill about their business and he started to slide and as he came down, he grabbed onto tiny little Valeda to stay up.

When coming from shopping downtown in Bangor, we had to go through Harlow Street. A big bully who was five times Valeda's size would scare her. Years later we found out that Grammie and Grampie had told Joy to watch out for "the girls" and when he heard about what the bully was doing, even though this boy wasn't right in the head, he still took care of it. The boy never scared Valeda again.

Valeda tended Johnny Higgins, a rich boy who got smart with her and used bad language while she was tending him. She told him to stop it or she'd give him a licking. She was little, but she let him know she could handle him. She had to spank him. He told his father she did so and they asked her what happened and she told them. They got another baby tender. Much to their surprise, when they tried several other sitters, Johnny wanted Valeda back so she returned.

When Valeda visited us and brought Gay out with her, we took them to West Yellowstone. There are a lot of hot pools and you have to be careful. Valeda had to hang on to Gay tight because she was like her mother; on the go all the time and she was happy and having such fun! Gay is the baby the doctors told Valeda she should abort and Valeda wouldn't do it.


Monday, August 24, 2009

Part 9: Bessie's brother Joy Clarence Small


Joy Clarence Small 
Joy Clarence Small was born 5 Jan 1914 on the family farm in Bucksport, Hancock, Maine. This picture, however, is taken at the home of his grandparents, Bill and Maud Small. I wish we had copies of the pictures on the walls.

It was traditional (and warmer) for women to wear 'mob' caps like this one that Janet's wearing.




He was the first child and only son born to Howard and Janet Small. Here he is sitting on a blanket, presumably somewhere on the farm in Bucksport and possibly munching on a treat.
He was a big boy, husky and muscular like his mother's side of the family, the Gibersons. He would grow to 6'2" and by the early 1940's, weigh 210 lbs.


Grammie, Joy, Grampie
Joy was five years old during the flu pandemic which took his parents (probably about the age he is in this photo with Maud and Bill).


Left to right in the photo of the four children: Laurel, Joy holding Valeda, and a very somber Bessie (perhaps it was the bow, Bessie always had a sense of style and that bow...well, it speaks for itself)
Laurel, Joy (sitting, holding Valeda), Bessie

Boys of that era wore short pants rather than long and if you look at his childhood pictures, or any pictures of that day and age, you will see this tradition carries on until the boy becomes "a man".
From an early age, Joy was a great protector and took his duty seriously. This was a legacy that provided help and a shoulder to cry on - not just for his own family, but our country well.



Joy Clarence Small
"JC" Small was a firm supporter of the Boy Scouts of America. He was very involved in the Farrington Troop and his young charges greatly admired him. He received awards from the NRA (National Rifle Association) and ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps) in high school.

Bessie recalled that Joy would have her punch him in the stomach to toughen it up. "And he'd have me hit him hard!" she said.



Eventually, Joy (who was a VERY handsome young man with many girls after him) met a young woman he couldn't live without.

Bessie told me that one Valentines Day, Joy bought several boxes of candy and had Bessie help him deliver them to different girls. She felt she was asked to go mostly so he wouldn't have to stay and visit with any of them. One of the boxes was significantly larger and much prettier than the others and he took Bessie home before he delivered it. She was very curious who it was going to go to.

Lillian and Joy - wedding day
Lillian Lunt
Naturally, he had saved the best for last. It went to Miss Lillian Lunt of Brewer, Maine.

He married Lillian Carolyn Lunt 30 Nov 1939 in Brewer, Penobscott, Maine in a civil ceremony at the First Congregational church of Brewer. Thirty six years later on 8 Jun 1976, they were married for time and all eternity in the Washington DC LDS Temple.

 Joy was a potato broker and Lill a nurse.
Joy and unknown man near truck
Eventually, unable to have children of their own, they reached out to adopt two that fit perfectly into their arms and hearts.
Joy and his adopted children, Susie, and Billy

Joy never forgot the woman that raised him and he took good care of Maud. He did many things for her she could not do for herself as age crept up on her. Here she is pictured with Joy and Lillian.
Lillian, Maud, Joy

I asked Norman his first impression of Joy when he and Bessie went back to Maine for their honeymoon in 1941. His answer: "He was a big man and a handsome son-of-a-gun. He liked me. We got along alright."

I think at least part of that comradery was due to the way that Norman treated Bessie. Joy knew that Laurel had married a good man because he had met him. Once he met Norman, he knew he wouldn't have to worry about Bessie anymore.

Norman worked with the potatoes back in Maine until December. Then the world changed. On Dec 7, 1941, Joy was working with Norman when the news came that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor. The war which had raged over Europe and the Pacific had now provoked America. Joy was going to war.

He was inducted along with 41 other men and began his stint in the army as an acting corporal. He was known as "Tiny" to his men.
I hope I get this short story right:
At one point, he was knocked out by a bullet hitting his helmet.
One of his men called out, "They got Tiny!"
He replied, "I ain't dead, but I'm (swore) mad!"

He wasn't so lucky the next time he got shot.


Joy received the Silver Star, the third highest U.S. military decoration. It is awarded for "Gallantry in action against an enemy of the United States"


In the letter dated 1 Sep 1945, the reason for the award was given as follows "...On 10 Aug 1945 in the vicinity of Mt Puloy, Luzon, P.I. Company "G" was given the mission of securing a commanding hill. The securing of this key point was imperative to the success of the operation of the battalion. The 1st platoon, commanded by Lt. Small, was ordered to lead the assault. By cautious maneuvering, the platoon was able to reach within 100 yards of its objective. At this point the Japs opened up with intense automatic and rifle fire causing the platoon to halt its advance. The enemy fire was coming in from well dug in and camouflaged positions that were almost impossible to discover. Lt. Small, realizing the predicament of his platoon, crawled forward of his platoon under constant and relentless enemy fire to within 20 yards of the first Jap position. At the risk of his own life he purposely exposed himself to enemy fire often in order to spot the exact location of the enemy emplacements. He found one pillbox, but his grenade fire was not enough to destroy it. At this time, one of Lt. Small's men, in changing his position, fell wounded a few yards in front of the enemy. Lt. Small with utter disregard for his own safety, braved close range rifle fire in order to crawl forward and pull the wounded man to safety. After administering first aid he maneuvered his platoon in a difficult double envelope movement and succeeded in destroying 10 successive enemy positions, annihilating one Jap platoon. His courageous action at the risk of his own life reflects the highest credit upon himself and the military service..."





The article in the Bangor newspaper about him reads: Cited - Second Lieut. Joy C. Small, husband of Mrs. Lillian Small of 17 Blackstone Street, who is stationed in Korea, has been awarded the Silver Star for gallantry in action in the vicinity of Mount Puloy, Luzon, August 10, 1945.

Lieut. Small voluntarily exposed himself to heavy enemy fire as he led his platoon in an attack against a strongly fortified enemy position. When one of his men was wounded and fell in an open area within easy range of the enemy, Lieut. Small crawled forward under the intense fire sweeping the area and managed to pull the man back to safety. He then renewed his advance, deploying his platoon in a double envelopment movement which succeeded in knocking out 10 enemy positions. He is now a commander of a service company stationed in Korea.





On 20 Feb 1946 Joy was awarded the Purple Heart.

This is an award that no service man really wants to earn because it's awarded for "Being wounded or killed in any action against an enemy of the United States or as a result of an act of any such enemy or opposing armed forces"
He received the Bronze Star
(a step above a Purple Heart)
that's awarded for
“Heroic or meritorious achievement or service”

After the heading, etc. the body of the letter, dated 20 Feb 1946 states the reason for the award:

"...for heroic achievements in connection with military operations against the enemy in the Antipolo area, Luzon, Philippine Islands on 3 August 1945. Lieutenant Small led his platoon to an objective in the face of heavy enemy rifle and machine gun fire, forcing the enemy soldiers to leave their positions. His platoon knocked out two machine guns, killing the crews, and several of the enemy riflemen. Then in the face of a determined enemy counterattack, he held his position, directing mortar fire, which together with the artillery fire concentrated on the objective, forced the enemy to completely evacuate the area. This enabled the company to occupy and consolidate the objective. Lieutenant Small's heroic action was highly instrumental in securing the object and reflects great credit upon himself and the military service..."



I'm not sure which award he was being given here, but it looks like he had already received the purple heart so it had to be one of many others.

Another newspaper article announcing his advancement to that of first lieutenant. It also gives the name of the division that he belonged to. I'm not sure if they do this anymore.







This is the patch the "Sight Seein' Sixth" or "Red Star" division wore on their uniforms.
Here is a link to see some actual footage about what the division was busy doing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcj_BeExvAI

Joy received a few other medals:

Philippine Liberation Medal for
participation in the liberation of the Philippine Islands
from 17 October 1944 to 3 September 1945
The American Campaign Medal - WW II (ACM) is granted to personnel who served one year of consecutive duty between December 7, 1941 to March 2, 1946 and within the continental boarders of the U.S., as well as to those who served 30 consecutive or 60 non-consecutive days of duty outside the borders of the U.S. but within the American Theater of Operations.
WW2
Victory Medal
The World War II Victory Medal was awarded for service between 7 December 1941 and 31 December 1946, both dates inclusive, with no minimum time in service requirement.

Army of
Occupation Medal
The medal was created in the aftermath of the Second World War to recognize those who had performed occupation service in either Germany, Italy, Austria, or Japan
Asiatic Pacific
Campaign Medal
awarded to any member of the United States Armed Forces who served in the Asiatic-Pacific Theater from 1941 to 1945.

Once released to civilian life, he remained with his family in Maine. He watched as best he could over his youngest sister Valeda and was able to visit Laurel and Bessie out west a few times and they returned back East to visit him on occasion.

Missing picture
Here Bessie is with Lill and Joy in the early 1980's on their visit out west. That visit took place some time after August of 1983 because I had the pleasure of meeting them after Norman and Bessie had returned from their LDS mission.


During that visit, Aunt Lill (a nurse) was unexpectedly called upon to help my toddler who had tripped and fallen into the piano bench and received a gash above her eyebrow.


Joy Clarence Small

As all real heroes do, Joy remained true to his God and faithful to his wife and his family.


Funeral
Joy graduated from life 12 Dec 1984 in Ellsworth, Maine and returned to his heavenly home with honor. Lillian followed him into eternity two years later.
21 gun salute


He was buried with full military honors.





Including the 21 gun salute (each man shot 7 times, they gather the bullet casings and present them to the widow or designated relative/representative).







Nicolin Cemetery,
His baby sister Valeda is in the foreground.
His headstone